Asking a Girl Out: 7 Essential Steps to Success
If planning a first date is already a concern for many, how to ask a girl out can become even more of an uphill battle. At some point we run into a girl who leaves us with a crush, but from the beginning we face a big obstacle: not knowing how to approach her, much less get her to go out with you for the first time. It’s possible that you’ve already had a couple of failed attempts in the past or that this is the first time you’re truly interested in a woman you want to date. The most important thing is that in this article you will find recommendations and tools to reverse this situation and succeed in asking a girl out.
There are many buts at the beginning. For example, that you don’t know what to say exactly, that you perceive that the girl is completely out of your league, that maybe she already has a boyfriend, that maybe it’s not the best time. In short, a series of pretexts that don’t help at all. In reality, there is only one indispensable requirement in all this. Do you find her attractive and do you like her? Then, go ahead. There’s not much to think about. If you like it, that’s it, and then we have to get to work.
How to ask a girl out shouldn’t be such a complex situation, but by thinking about it twice and every little detail, we complicate the whole picture. Quickly, doubt and fear consume all the energy we bring to the table and ruin the propitious moment. In the end, it doesn’t allow you to ever ask him anything. This is what you have to put into practice if you want to ask a girl out for the first time:
1. Value her interest in you
Step number one is to find out how much interest she shows in you. For example, did you notice your presence among the group of friends? Was there any eye contact between the two of you? Any smiles? Any positive expressions, such as a simple smile, friendly body language, or even recurring eye contact are indicators that she may feel some interest in you. If after exchanging a few words and greetings over several days you see that she is following your lead, then this is definitely good news – don’t be afraid to take action and move on!
The other possible scenario is that the girl you would love to ask out doesn’t give you the slightest sign of interest. On the contrary, she always seems to be annoyed, busy, takes your body away, never speaks to you, far from it. In this case, my friend, better give yourself a chance with someone else if you don’t want to suffer an uncomfortable rejection.
2. How to ask a girl out: take care of your appearance
When you have made your decision and you are sure you are going to talk to him, take good care of your appearance. Don’t look disheveled because you will have ruined everything. Women like to see a man who is clean, smells good and looks presentable. You can even make a checklist and check off each box so you don’t forget anything. Make sure of the following:
Have clean trimmed nails
With dirty nails you won’t even be able to shake hands.
Brush your teeth properly
No residue, much less unpleasant breath. When you talk, you should realize your oral hygiene, that in case things flow, you would be safe if you get a kiss. Use mouthwash if possible.
If you don’t use a beard, make sure you shave well. If you do grow a beard, then clean it, trim it and outline it. It is important that it looks neat. Many women love beards, as long as they are kept neat.
Shirt and pants properly smoothed. That gives the impression that you are a man who knows how to take care of himself and who pays attention to details.
Cleaning your shoes will speak more about you than your own words. No dirty or bad shoes. Make an effort to make them presentable to add up to three points.
The sense of smell plays a fundamental role, since smells last longer in our memory than any other stimulus. Use a pleasant perfume with which you can always be remembered.
A shower shortly before seeing your girl will present you with a fresh and clean look.
As you will see, a large part of success when it comes to asking a girl out is based on cleanliness and your appearance. Your words and the time you choose to talk to her are the other part of the game. So let’s look at the next point:
3. Choose an appropriate moment
If today is the day you will talk to her, find a time when she is alone. Put yourself in her place and think that it could be extremely uncomfortable and intimidating if everyone is in front of her, for example, her best friends. Just imagine that everyone around her will be watching her and judging the decisions she makes. So none of that. Just play it safe and take advantage of it when she’s alone.
The right time and place will play in your favor. This way she’s more likely to give you a more honest answer, whether it’s the one you want to hear or the one that will hurt a little. But an honest answer, whatever it is, is worth more than a lie that will break your heart later.
4. How to ask a girl out: speak honestly
The hardest thing to do is to find the right words to pronounce. Many of them probably work very well, but I can assure you that there is only one that ends with a complete failure: not saying anything. Come on, that’s a loser. From starting with a simple and basic ‘hello’, or telling her she’s pretty, or that you like a piece of clothing she’s wearing because it reminds her of one she gave her mom a few years ago, among others.
However, why doesn’t what you say work sometimes? Well, there are many variables. For example, some lines are not successful simply because they are not genuine, they are not honest. When a girl hears a man say those words, she knows they are not convincing. There’s no way they’ll end up buying that proposal. It seems that women have an additional sense to detect when men try to persuade them with a fancy speech and therefore, little or nothing sincere.
Everyone, but especially women in these scenarios, are driven by honesty. When you express your intentions with truth, you generate empathy, the girl gets interested and the conversation begins to flow naturally. It’s so simple and so effective.
And what if the situation arises within a work environment? Well, the same laws don’t apply here. You better learn some techniques and we have it in our article on how to flirt at work.
5. Attitude, posture and confidence
It prevents the situation from seeming very relevant and formal. On the contrary, the more casual and calm, the better. Good posture and confidence will give the impression that you do this every day. It is a question of balance. If you go with everything, straight to the point and without anesthesia, then she will feel uncomfortable. Keep your cool and don’t rush the pace because she won’t like that at all and what you’ll hear is an unpleasant “no”.
6. What do you do if he says no?
There’s always a chance that all your efforts will go to hell, but that’s the way this business is. If she says she doesn’t want to go out with you, then just keep it together, don’t pout or anything. Instead, be friendly, finish the conversation and leave. You’ll feel a little down, but come on, it happens and it’s best to take it as a learning experience. Find out what you may have failed at and see what you can improve on for your next attempt with another girl you like in the future.
7. You said yes! Now what?
If she said yes, then congratulations! You’re the best and you know how to ask a girl out. Joy will invade your body, but you better not express it too much. It’s not like you’re going to jump or dance. Just telling her that you’re happy and excited will do the trick. Have you thought of any ideas for your first date? If not, I recommend that you read our article of 9 ideas for a first date.