Unattached relationships are really the best of both worlds when you’re just not ready for something serious. You can enjoy a lot of amazing sex, often with a good dose of pleasant companionship to go with it, but without the commitment and obligation that comes with something more traditional. Unattached relationships are also a great way to experience some of your sexuality.
In other words, there’s so much to love about keeping things casual that it’s easy to see why you prefer to go down that road. What’s not so easy is making sure your casual relationship really stays that way. Here are a few tips to prevent your unattached relationship from inadvertently turning into a closer relationship for either party.
Keeping things under control
Even if you’re only interested in adventures and casual encounters, it’s important to be honest with yourself-
Itself, as well as with the other person. Start with her. Have you made it clear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is an occasional relationship? Make sure they know what they can and cannot expect from you.
You will also need to be very honest with yourself. Some people act tough on the outside and convince themselves that they are immune to having feelings for a casual partner, but end up being wrong. Make sure you choose not to get attached because it really suits you, not because you are trying to prove something to yourself.
See other people
One of the best ways to ensure that casual relationships remain casual is to prevent them from becoming exclusive, even accidentally. If you only see and sleep with that one person, it’s too easy for one or both of you to become more attached to your relationship than you really want.
Actively keep your options open and encourage the other person to do the same. Go out together. Take advantage of fun opportunities to connect with other people. Connect to Tinder or Mixxxer once in a while and spend some of your free time chatting with someone cute just for fun. Be open and honest with everyone, including your FWB, and tell yourself that you are also seeing other people.
Set up strict sex dates
Making sure that you and the other person are aware that what you are doing is just for fun is one thing, but it’s not enough to just say it and stop there. Successful, unattached relationships that are satisfying for both people involved develop through boundaries. If you haven’t already done so, it’s officially time to sit down with the other person and set some ground rules. This is the best way to keep everyone in their own corner and avoid hurting others at some point. The boundaries you both set are yours, but there are common rules that work for many people:
- Don’t spend the night.
- No dating or sex nice encounters during the day.
- No relationship reasons for meeting (for example, to go to a wedding or business meeting).
- No gifts, cards, flowers or romantic gestures of any kind.
- In other words, you should avoid anything that could be misinterpreted as romantic by one of you or by someone else.
Give priority to your own needs
When you do the unattached thing, it’s important to understand that there’s a big difference between being a fool and simply making your own needs a priority. Casual sex is supposed to be about the occasional scratching of an all-too-familiar itch and getting it over with… for both of you. It’s not about making the other person happy.
Yes, you can (and should) be considerate and courteous to your FWB. However, you should not do anything to make him or her happy or put his or her needs ahead of your own on any level. They are in your life so that you can both get laid on a regular basis. Choices such as canceling an appointment with them or doing small favors should not be part of the equation.
Compartmentalize Senior Sex Dating
Last but not least, it is best to keep an unattached bond completely separate from the rest of your life. Don’t introduce them to your friends, colleagues or family. In fact, it’s probably best not to tell these people either. There’s no reason to do so, other than for casual sex.
Also, avoid talking to your casual fling partner on a friendly basis. He or she is not someone you should talk to every night about how your day went or is approaching because you need a shoulder to lean on. Ideally, communication should be limited to making or finalizing senior sex plans.
Ultimately, the key to preventing an occasional relationship from becoming something more important is to set limits and stick to them. How do you manage this when it comes to your relationships?